We’re on the hunt for prize Notams.
In every definition of a Notam that exists, including the ICAO one, it includes these words: “the timely knowledge of which is essential“. Unfortunately, many Notam-creators’ sense of the essential shows a clear failure to understand the term . This is CNN’s version of fake news at it’s worst.
Now, we recently found one that listed peak goat-grazing times near the airport, so we thought we’d run a NOTAM Goat Show. And there will be prizes. We’re looking for the worst: the most irrelevant, the most useless, the most boring, the most unreadable. All those crappy Notams that are part of the 100 page print out you get in your flight briefing.
Send us your worst! email@example.com
There will be prizes, and as fun as all this is, you actually are helping to solve the problem of Bullshit Notams. We’re working on it.
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My team always jokes about the wildlife NOTAMS at TEB:
TEB 01/007 TEB AD AP WILDLIFE HAZARD DEER 2001011212-2002020459
TEB 01/005 TEB AD AP WILDLIFE HAZARD FOX 2001011210-2002020459
TEB 01/006 TEB AD AP WILDLIFE HAZARD COYOTE 2001011212-2002020459
It used to just include the fox, but they’ve since added deer and coyotes. Not one pilot of our has reported seeing anything of them.
What about Slaughter Boars?!
MAY 2017:06-13-20-27 -JUN 2017:03 SLAUGHTER BOARS OPERATION BY NIGHT WITHIN THE AIRPORT(GMMB)
DBBB/CARD C0054/17 20MAR 1616Z – RISK OF PERTURBATION IN BENIN-TOGO AIRSPACE DUE TO COTONOU APPROACH DEPORTED FREQUENCY VHF 125.9 MHZ WITHDRAWN FOR MAINTENANCE. 22 MAR 00:00 2017 UNTIL 22 APR 23:59 2017 ESTIMATED.
Brilliant! Just Brilliant! Dynamic Bifurcation, what a word.
Here’s one that says Chennai (India) airspace has two new control frequencies:
VOMF A0413/17 27FEB0800-29JUN1230 EST
REF E-AIP INDIA, ENR-2 AIR TFC SERVICES AIRSPACE ENR 2.1
FLT INFORMATION REGION (FIR), TERMINAL AREA (TMA)-UNDER CHENNAI
CONTROL AREA-SECTOR UMM (.)
1.DURG HIGH DENSITY TFC DYNAMIC BIFURCATION OF UMM SECTOR INTO
UMM-NORTH AND UMM-SOUTH ON TRIAL BASIS WILL BE IN PROGRESS
2.UMM – SOUTH AREA BOUNDED BY -140100N 0791600E-THEN ALONG
ANTICLOCKWISE ARC OF 80NM RADIUS CENTERED AT CHENNAI VOR (MMV)
(125936.1N 0801014.5E) TO 130000N0784800E 130000N0782500E
124500N0782500E 122800N0791700E THEN ALONG CLOCKWISE ARC OF
RADIUS CENTERED AT 125705.1N 0773955.7E TO 112130N0780745E
11400N0781200E 110300N0781700E 100000N0794000E 100000N0800000E
100006N0814654E THEN ALONG THE ANTICLOCKWISE ARC OF 200NM
AT CHENNAI VOR (MMV) (125936.1N 0801014.5E) TO
123935N0833323E 125308N 0834557E 134411N 0821108E 131746N
131926N 0802640E 131542N 0800853E 133716N 0795532E TO 140100N
3.UMM – NORTH AREA BOUNDED BY COORDS- 140100N 0791600E 133716N
0795532E 131542N 0800853E 131926N 0802640E 131746N 0803544E
0821108E 125608N0834557E 154200N0855400E 171500N0820000E
184100N0824900E 184250N0820000E 155900N0791300E 155800N0784500E
142300N0785400E 140100N 0791600E
FL145 / FL460
Valder, you’re our first entry in the goat show!
“This is CNN’s version of fake news at it’s worst.”
Shouldn’t this be: “This is CNN’s version of fake news at its worst.” instead?